Be your own God

We have benchmark for everything.
For Distance, it’s miles.
For Time, it’s minutes.
For Sadness, it’s tears.
For Happiness, it’s laughter.
For Professional success, it’s money.
For Cars, it’s Rolls-Royce.
For Handsets, it’s Apple, so on and so forth.

The question arises what should be our benchmark? Or who should be our benchmark?
Is it possible to find a person who fits perfectly according to our goals, desires and personality?
Nearly impossible it is as everyone here is unique. So can one have different idols for different purpose? Yes we can have. But in the recent times where we are already filled and bombarded with so many data throught the day, won’t be a good deal to follow only one person rather than whole bunch of people? How is it possible? It can take some time to find that person. To be precise, it won’t take time to “find” that person but to “make” that person. That person is you, yourself.

What if you equip yourself with better and better ways every day? What if you can praise yourself? What if you can criticize yourself? What if you treat everyone the way you want them to treat you? What if you can control your emotions? What if you can swallow the failure and digest the success? What if you can imagine a CCTV camera around you 24*7?

Then you can be your own God, your own benchmark.

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It is not possible to talk to your idol every time you need them. Only you can be with yourself everytime. Literally evertyime!! So why not we become our own idol? The basic thing needed for that is Common sense and I hope everyone reading this has it. One should have common sense to differentiate between what is right and what is not. And after that, one should have guts. Guts to face any situation. After finding what is right and what’s wrong, one should be able to make a bold decision. Most of the problems that we face are already sensed by us way before, but we tend to push them for last moment and then create mess. Punish yourself for the wrong; don’t wait for your boss or your mother does that for you. And the same way, pamper yourself for the good; don’t wait for others to make you happy.

There can be 100 advises one can have to make his life better but all will be in vein, if you don’t take ownership of your life.

So take charge.

Be your own God.

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Be a MAGNET

In childhood days, we used to play with magnets and toys which had magnet in it. In those days, it was nothing more than a toy or a science object to experiment with. But now, if I consider magnet, it unfolds many aspects. Some of them are listed below.

  • Non-reactive to plastic

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Magnet has one very unique characteristic and that is, it only attracts towards iron material. So anything except iron is of no use with magnet. Consider iron as things that are good for us (love, peace, honesty etc) and plastic as things which are not. (Anger, jealously, corruption etc) We should also become non-reactive to these plastic materials who don’t add any value to ourselves. Become a good person and attract people towards you.

  • North and South Pole (Personal & Professional life)

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As we know, magnet has 2 poles. South & North. Consider one as your personal life and another as your professional life. First thing is to understand that a magnet is a magnet if it has both the poles. So you can survive if you can manage both personal life and professional life. And second is, they should be separate. A magnet is not like an eraser whose two ends you can mould and bring together. The same way your personal and professional life should also be separate and both be given due time.

  • Build on basics and increase your worth2

There are toys available who uses magnet but we are not able to see it as magnet is covered by the body. If you give simple magnet to a kid, he won’t play with it for a long time. But if you give him in the form of a toy, he will enjoy toy’s company. The kid doesn’t realise that it is the same magnet which is at the core of the toy. Now the price of that 20 rupee magnet is 200 rupees. And it’s more attractive also!! Hence, it is very necessary that the base on which you build yourself is very strong. So if you have your basics in place, you can go to places!

  • Split into two but it still holds to its quality

Try to split a magnet with a hammer and split it into two pieces. You will see that these two pieces will also act as two separate magnets. It demonstrates to us that even if you fail, even if someone tries to blame you for wrong reason, don’t give up on what you are supposed to do. Consistency is very important for success.

If we remember and try to implement these lessons in our life, it can really bring in the difference in our life.

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Yes, I work in Sales!

Yes, I work in Sales

Yes, my day starts with commitments

Yes, I roam in narrowest lanes of small towns in a search that never ends!

Yes, I consume tea more than I consume water!

Yes, my skin tone get darken one level every month!

Yes, I no longer consider smoking and drinking injurious to health!

Yes, I experience mood swings!

Yes, I spend too little time with family, friends and especially myself!!

Yes, I spend too much time with MS excel and at tea stalls!

Yes, I desperately wait for Saturday evening!

Yes, I no longer value those books who claim to change life in 10 days!!

Yes, I sometimes worry about personal life.

Yes, I look for similar people like me!

Yes, I miss my hobbies!

Yes, I am ambitious.

Yes, I work for money.

Yes, my night ends with commitment vs delivery!

Yes, my next day again starts with commitments!

And guess what, I still CHOSE to work for Sales J

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Love marriage VS Arrange marriage

Marriage is one of the most important decisions of our life just like education, career etc. As a matter of fact, it is THE most important decision. For instance if you are unhappy/dissatisfied with your current job, you can always change the job or go for higher studies. Whereas in case of marriage, it is not that easy. Marriage is a common thread which connects so many people apart from the couple. By marrying someone, you are sharing yourself with someone for the rest of your life which is a big thing.

So this decision needs to be taken with utmost carefulness. There used to be a time when marriages were decided even before the couples could start walking on their own feet! Husbands could see face of their wives directly on the first night! Vice versa too! Marriages were decided not basis of likings of the couple but of the 2 families. I can understand the logic that family members knew each other well so they felt it better to fix a marriage prior. But what about the poor couple? Of course, we don’t see these kinds of things now-a-days much.

I being a typical management student, will start from starting. Marriages are of two types: 1) Arranged marriage & 2) Love marriage. Both have their pros and cons! But somehow, I still go with the second option. Reason is simple. It is good to have a known enemy rather than an unknown!

Generally you would have seen elders saying arrange marriages are better because we know the family of the other person very well. That’s pretty much ok but is it necessary that their son/daughter will be as good as the family? And even if, he/she is good, is it written on a stamp paper that they will enjoy each other’s company for the rest of their lives just because their parents THINK the same is going to happen? Parents have obviously honest motive behind arrange marriage but I quite often see this system of arrange marriage not working. Reason is simple. Now-a-days people don’t have that much of a patience to bear unnecessary demands/orders/bull@#*t of the other person. And I don’t think it is wrong either. Everyone has full right to live their life in their own way. You can’t expect them to surrender to your orders just because he/she is your husband/wife. This is the thing that I don’t like in arrange marriages. It should have been actually called ‘Adjust’ marriages! Why to adjust? Is it a 3 hour journey from one station to another? No. It’s a lifelong journey. Then why not spend it with a passenger of your own choice?

The worst thing in the life is to have regret. Never let your feelings go unsaid or unheard. I am not a love guru. I have full time job to earn money! But what I urge to every youth is to stand up for yourself, not literally but give your love a respectable amount of time and effort.

Arrange marriage is not at all a bad concept. But if you love someone, at least make sure that the person also is aware about the same. Blunder would occur if two kept on waiting for some angel to come in between and help them. It’s not going to happen dude.

If you don’t like someone, no need to have pity on him/her. That decision taken under pressure/hurry/casualness can affect your life majorly. You may get divorce and you would never gather enough strength to marry someone again or you may also find prefect life partner in that person. It is all about what YOU FEEL. I expect when a person reaches over 20, he has that level of maturity to decide his/her partner. No qualification is required to do screening of your partner. It may be possible that your parents would not like him/her but if you think that it’s not worth missing, go for it. At the end of the day, one should live life with no regrets.

Cheers! Happy Searching! 🙂

#OnLighterNote

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The Great Gujarati Shopping Season

Once I was at a shopping mall to maximize my ROI as there were some huge discounts being offered by the owners. And as everyone knows, for typical Gujarati family, sale is supposed to be a family event where each and every member is supposed to investigate each and every corner of mall for the ultimate search for the most appropriate clothes!

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I bounced into seeing one such Gujju family that day. As it generally happens. an elderly looking lady was the chief of the mission ‘Molest The Mall’ and gave clear cut direction to her all family members that the this mission is divided into 2 steps. In the first step, family members are supposed to go all over the mall and search for his/her most suitable apparel, the price of which has already been bifurcated by that lady member wise!  And in the second and the final stage, all family members had to face that lady (probably grandmother) for one on one interview where she will announce whether a particular apparel has won itself a freedom from that mall or not!

So the mission ‘Molest The Mall’ started. Family members spread in the vicinity like ants run after being caught eating up sweet stuff from the kitchen!  Some went to ladies department; some went to men’s and etc etc. Lady was watching her troop taking over the mall with a sense of pride! The search for most suitable apparel lasted for about 30 minutes. You would be thinking it’s really a quick work by members but you are missing one thing, they are still supposed to cross last hurdle and that is one on one face up with the big boss or I rather say big bossy!

And here was something unusual happened. The lady went ahead to take charge of the security personnel’s chair who was controlling crowd entering and exiting trial rooms. That man gave her his chair. I don’t know whether that was out of respect or out of fear but the bottom-line is now that lady will observe her family members one by one as they try their partially purchased apparels to her and give her final verdict. Final round started, one by one the doors were opening and closing and lady was recording the cost of each and every item and was noting the grand total of it as there was some more 15% cash back if the total exceeds some particular amount.  That poor security guy was baffling and scared too as he has lost his chair temporarily and was probably praying that no-one from the mall authority rushes there at this time otherwise he will lose his chair permanently! Lady was continuously keeping a check on the total amount and shunned some of the selected stuff also as they were not included in the cash-back offer!  Finally after another 30 minutes of ruckus, finalists of the mission were announced! She made sure that everyone gets something or the other at the end of the shopping. Everyone was happy and started marching towards the not so favorite area of shopping which is billing counter! They reached the counter and a small kid asked that lady. ‘Granny! Why didn’t you buy anything for yourself?’ and everyone in the family suddenly turned to that lady and gave a look of respect. Even I waiting at the other counter watched that lady with admiration. And suddenly she breaks the silence and takes out a big shopping bag which she had shopped for herself from that 15% cash-back!

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The Great Gujarati Shopping Season

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Social media taking on Social animal!

If you are reading this, it means you have medium to high exposure to the cyber world. The topic of this blog is also regarding similar people like u, who have access to internet; data enabled handsets. Advanced innovations in communication field have shortened communication gap among people. Social media has affected lives of youth like a rage.

I have seen people changing before and after their debut on social media! Introverts have become extroverts and extroverts have become over-extroverts! I can bet you if you compare any of these people’s resume and their social networking sites, his/her social site would be more updated at any given day! People have started to express their selves. But what I have found over the time is that it’s a viral effect. The person who is not a regular visitor of ‘www’ finds himself a frog in the well.  This forces that person to open his gadget and jump into the sea of social media. Being an internet savvy is the minimum qualification that any person should be having these days.

From the time one wakes up to the time one goes to bed, staying connected online is must.  Earlier people used to get their pictures clicked because they wanted to capture that moment for lifetime. But now the only motive behind getting clicked is changing the display picture and let the whole world know that even I am enjoying my life! People share each and every incidents of their 24 hour day; I mean almost each and every incident. A person who is living in the other town, who would have seldom talked with the guy would be knowing that this guy is ‘feeling’ upset, but that guy’s mother would not have the slightest idea that her son is upset.   This is the height of addiction to the virtual world of social media.  If someone gets a new job, buys a new car, enters into a brand new relationship!, he/she instantly logs in and announces the same to the world. Of course, there is nothing bad in it as this is why social media exists. But my observation calls thing an indication of lack of self confidence or recognition. People, especially youngsters start comparing their lives when they see their friend’s so called ‘awesome life’ on these sites. Deep down they feel inferior, gloomy and start running in the fake race to prove their existence on the earth. How stupid is that? Majority of the time, we keep thinking about what people would think about us and modify our actions even if it is at the cost of sacrificing our relation with our family members or not doing things that we actually love to do. Why? Because if we will allocate our time in these activities, then we will lose our grip in chat world.

 Social-Media

But when you turn the coin, you see the other side of social media. It helps you spread any information around the planet in count of seconds without any cost of advertisements. It helps you shop from your home, gives you all the information that libraries all around the world can’t provide, makes your payment with one click, books ticket for your outing and also finds you better life partner; you can ignore word ‘better’ if you want.

So now the question is, ‘Is the social media a friend or a foe?’

There is no absolute answer to this question. Social media can be proven as a great help if used in our favor. Time, Speed, Reach & Cost. Social media proves its superiority in all these aspects. So let the social media not control you or your actions. Enjoy your life whether you are online or offline!

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Naught News Channels

News, as its full form suggests should ideally provide us information from all four directions i.e. North, East, West and South, covering a small state to limitless solar system. But since quite a time, these 24*7 hour news channels have scrambled the four letters of NEWS, making it SNWE, which when unfolded reads as ‘Small News, Wide Entertainment’!

Media as a whole has a serious responsibility on itself of providing true picture of the society to the people at large through various means. But to my disappointment, television news channels are not using their resources where it is indeed required.

So many news channels are coming up, each of them claiming to be the #1 news channel in the country. I fail to find any point of difference among them. You start your day with a cup of tea and a newspaper. Now when you press the remote and tune one of the many lookalikes news channels, you will see very interesting headline which says that it will showcase you 100 news in 10 minutes (10 minute me 100 khabare), and you trifle your 10 minutes because that 10 minute short video will break one small news in 10 pieces and after 10 minutes you realize that those ‘100’ news where nothing new but the same 10 news headings which you had read on the front page of your newspaper.  I accept, this way of telecasting news is really new and admirable specially in the morning time as people don’t have much time to spare, but what I don’t like in this programme is false commitment because they actually come up with only 10 news instead of 100. Just by breaking a one line sentence into five lines does not make it 5 different news items! Now these fast track news programmes are followed by astrology shows where men and women in different getups appear on the screen and give tips to the viewers on how to make their day and life better. I strongly feel these people first need to get some tips on how to dress up.

 076 India TV indiatv

The noon shows target house wives as this time interval is majorly dominated by them, of course for the rest of the time also they dominate! These shows display daily soap actresses doing stupidest things and the TV anchor accompanying her.

News is glamorized. Rajat Sharma, a senior TV show anchor of the famous old show ‘Aap ki adaalat’ also could not separate himself from adding tint of glamour to his new avatar of the same show. Media is more interested to know when Shahrukh and Salman will again start talking instead of Modi and Nitish Kumar! And one of the most not so good things about news channels is that they stick to a particular news item for few days only, till it is on people’s mind. Chopper deal with Italy, Real reason behind murder of Sarabjit Singh, Revelations of Arvind Kejriwal, Protest of Anna, Worn out IPL scandal after glorious performance of team India in champions trophy, Coalgate scam, Status of the accused former railway minister Mr. Pawan Bansal and many more of course. Hope I was successful to pull you back in the past and make you realise apart from very serious issues like whether Aishwarya and Abhishek will have second baby or not, there are other equally important issues as well!

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Cartoon-on-meadia

Today, there are exuberant news channels with whom one has to compete with so it is totally understandable to fight hard for your survival, but rather than telecasting frivolous news again and again, they should explore some unknown areas of our country where serious issues prevails. Rural India has so much hidden potential in it, but people there do not have weapons to fight the war. There are so many people from whose life, all of us can learn important lessons but who are concealed in the society. Media has all the power to bring them out.

We just cannot single handily blame media for this, even there are people who are entertainment hungry and they are so engrossed in the entertainment quotient that they just can’t digest serious news, they either need glamorous news reader or they need a spicy presentation of the news. They want to enjoy the news just like a 3 hour movie. And yes, if we see another side of the coin, we have some resourceful people in our media who has taken charge to change the country and the way people think. They held regular debates on various important issues and work along it till some solution is carried out. But we need more of them to rule the TV screen and educate people to differentiate between NEWS and SNWE!

Posted in India, Media, News Channels, Society | 4 Comments

Dear Mom……..Forever Yours……..

A very happy mother’s day to all the beautiful moms on the planet earth.

It’s time to write something upon the most innocent and most loving creation of the god. We call her ‘mom’.  I used to write really nice essay on the subject ‘My mother’ when I was in school because I knew it was going to be asked and will fetch me some handsome marks. The thing to notice is that almost the whole class used to have the same characteristics in his or her mom! I wonder how is that possible. But it’s very likely to be true. A mother can be of any caste or color, but what she does for her child can never be differentiated. An animal may not be gifted with all the senses that a human is, but the way these animals take care for their babies is just the same as any of our moms do.

As you grow up, you find it difficult to do those things with that much ease and speed.  Still I have tried to write a small thanks note to my mom and I dedicate this letter to all other moms as well because I believe what I have written is what all the sons and/or daughters would also be wanting to say.

Dear Mom,

Wishing you a happy mother’s day.

Thanks for being my mom.

Thanks for nourishing me with best of mannerisms.

Thanks for loving me equally from the day I was in you till today.

Thanks for waking me up every day for my college. (I bet you it was the toughest task of all!)

Thanks for swallowing my anger when I lost control on myself.

Thanks for giving me that lovely smile after my tiresome day.

Thanks for having a trust in me in all my decisions.

& thanks for giving me this life that I am living right now.

Mother’s day, originated from western culture, is one of the greatest gifts west people have ever given us. So celebrate mother’s day. Gift her something. Sit beside her and ask her how her life is. This is the least we can do for our mom compared to exuberant love she gives to us. Most of us miss out on it.  Sometimes because of our personal or professional reasons, we do not give her time, get frustrated on her. But to the contrary, she still keeps on pouring her affection on us.

 Baby and mother

I believe a mother lives her life in three stages. In the first stage, she is with her parents.  In the second stage, she gets married and lives with her husband. And in the last and the most important stage of her life, she lives with her child. Of course, her parents and her husband are still in the picture! But her focus now is on her kid and how she can give him the best of the knowledge, the best of the life style, the best of the education, and the best of the civility. Her world gets surrounded by her child. She very easily reads her kid’s state of mind without the kid uttering a single word.

 Let your mom know how much you love her.

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3 Short Stories

Some days ago, I happened to attend a conference where I had the opportunity to listen to a great author and a greater narrator from IIM-A, Mr. Prakash Iyer. He had shared some nice stories at that day which were simple though very sharp. I thought if I share some of the stories he told that day with you all, it will certainly be useful to you all as well.

Enjoy his 3 small stories.

1) Idol and Sculptor

Many years ago, there was a sculptor in a small village. He was very famous for his artistic idols. Once his friend visited his house and saw two huge identical idols. He wondered why someone would order to make two identical idols. He asked the sculptor about the one who ordered two same idols to which the sculptor said that order was only for one idol. Surprised by his answer, he inspected the sculptor why he wasted his time and resources in making two idols instead of one. The sculptor said that there was a crack in the first idol so he made the second one. His friend went closer to both idol and came back after sometime with more surprised look. He told the sculptor that there is no crack in any of the idols. Hearing this sculptor took his friend near to the idol which had a small crack at the back which was not visible very easily. His friend found it silly of the sculptor to make the whole idol again rather than selling the first one as its crack was hard to discover. He asked the sculptor that why he didn’t sell the first idol itself because no one would be able to get to know about the crack in the idol. Now the answer that he got from the sculptor was very insightful. He just said: ‘I knew that there is a crack in the idol’

Learning:

Don’t lie to yourself. It is very much possible that you do not work ethically or give your best try but still manage to get appraisal from your boss. You may not be working hard to source good marks but still able to top the class by hook or crook. These all things will give you temporary moments of happiness but they will be followed by a sense of guilt. Guilt of being at a wrong position. Guilt of receiving false accolades. Guilt of being a liar. And that guilt keeps on hitting you harder and harder. Why to be under guilt then? Accept things where you lacked. That sculptor could sell the cracked idol but then that thing will haunt him day in and day out that he did wrong. In the end, you should be able to have a sound sleep with a smile on your face when you go to bed at night.

2) Running after Rabbit

After girls, Rabbits are one of the toughest living beings in the world whom we can’t catch easily! But one boy was still trying his hand to catch one white rabbit in the garden of his bungalow. He tried it for around 5-10 minutes to catch that white bunny but could not do it. When thought it’s tough to take that rabbit in his hand, the boy started running after other brownish and less attractive rabbit thinking that they would be comparatively easy to catch. But his bad luck kept following him there also. Tired after one more running session, he finally went for the black rabbits that were least attractive in looks.

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Learning:

Tough things always demands tougher tries. It’s not easy to reach at the top but the joy you get at the first place is nowhere closer when you are a first runner up. Similarly, the amount of effort a person gives for the top most position is way more extra than the one puts at the second place. We set higher goals for ourselves in the beginning but gradually we lower the bars and compromise with the lower benefits. Don’t compromise on your dreams, they are YOURS. It may take longer time than anticipated but it would be worth a wait when you will hold a winner trophy one day. Remember: ‘Don’t change your rabbit!’

3) An Elephant and a Page

Once there was a baby elephant. He was full with fun and adventure. Whenever it was possible, he used to escape from his owner’s control and started roaming around here and there. That put his owner in great difficulty. After having enough of this from the baby elephant, his owner fixed his one leg to the ground with the help of a page. So now, as soon as the small elephant tried to go out of his little house, the fixed rope used to have traction with his delicate legs and an immense pain would run throughout his body. The poor elephant had no strength to kick the page, remove it from its root and start running wherever he wanted. This used to happen every time when the desire to go out of his house stimulated in his mind. He had to sacrifice his favorite activity as it caused him severe pain. Days passed but his fear towards that rope hinged with the page remained.

elephant-rope

Even today you will come across scenes where a mammoth elephant stand still when one of his legs is fixed to a small page with a rope.  He being a hulk can easily thrash that page but he won’t do that. Reason being THAT fear. Fear of pain. Rather, fear of repetitive pain. He has related that rope and page with hat unbearable pain he received when he was very young. Though he is a giant structure now, still he is not able to remove that fear from his mind.

Learning:

What this story teaches you is to stop letting the events that had happened in past ruin your present. We have a very bad habit of remembering the only things which we shouldn’t remember! Some unpleasant things do happen to us in our life that can cause us pain, physically or mentally or both ways. But that doesn’t mean that we memorize them and don’t get out of it. Lessons exist so that we can learn from them, not that we get to know about our weakness and protect ourselves for the rest of our life. It is nowhere proved that you can’t try that thing in which you had tasted failure in past. If this be the case, the fisherman won’t be again going into the sea to catch the fish after heavy storm; the mountaineers won’t be climbing again and again on tall mountains. Don’t set back because of your past. Come on front to change the future.  Failed in love? Fall one more time instead of blaming yourself or doubting your worth. Rejected at interview? Check out the reasons behind your rejection and work towards it. Could not achieve target for this month? Find out how others did it and start doing it your own way. Don’t be like that elephant. Don’t be hesitant in trying out things because you could not do that sometime back in the past.

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